Just in time for Inception: Such a great movie!
I’m not a baby person. There was never a living room full of toys or the sound of children’s laughter through the house in my vision of the future. My face never lit up when seeing a little tiny person making goofy faces. I hated the idea of having kids, and there was nothing that made it worth the effort – at least in my mind…
One day, one bright sunny day, I woke up, took a shower and, suddenly, I got a call; a call that changed my life.
I left my house. Between subway and bus rides an hour went by, and my heart was pounding like crazy throughout the entire morning. I arrived to my destination, this modern light-coloured building, and rushed through the hallways. The entire action seemed like a movie, slow and emotional, the sound of my steps echoing through the halls.
The room was dimmed and peaceful. The little light that made it through the shades made the bed glow beautifully. And lying in that hospital bed, right next to her mother, was this tiny little thing, all wrinkled up, with her eyes closed and a pink and blue bonnet which was clearly too big for her head.
I’m still not a baby person. But that baby is not just any baby… because when I saw that tiny little thing I started to cry. I never cried of happiness before. It was so overwhelming… I couldn’t stop as much as I tried to, as much as I said to myself “stop that, you look ridiculous, it’s just a baby”. She was so small. So fragile. I felt like I had to protect her from everything that could possibly hurt her… but how? I was scared to hurt her just by running my fingers through her cheek; which she clearly didn’t like, because she started to cry as hard as I was.
I left the room still crying. Sat down on the nearest coffee shop and kept crying over a toasted croissant. At first I didn’t understand why I suddenly got so emotional. I was anxious to see her, that’s for sure, but just because she was a new family member, like anyone else I had known so far. And I had never cried for any of them. But, that day, almost a year ago from now, I left a little bit of my heart in that room. A little bit of heart that I will never get back, because whatever she’ll do, whatever she’ll be, I will never stop loving her as much as I loved her that first second I saw her, all wrinkled up, with the pink and blue bonnet that bluntly laid on top of her head. And that’s unconditional.
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It’s like I’m there again, in a cold cold night in Milan, holding a camera in one hand and your hand in the other. Only today it’s the other way around, and my hand is not holding yours, not yet…
It’s been quite a ride, up and down and upside-down, making me feel happy and sad and happy again… but all because of the same thing, that same old thing that kept me thinking about you for all this time… Since those endless four hours in a crowded room when our eyes first met, to those days when I “mindlessly” looked for you everywhere I went, to that moment when we both knew we wanted each other…
So it’s a cheesy post. Who cares? I’m in love… all this to say Happy Birthday!
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